User talk:NiteyNight
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Nighty, Night page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! LOLSKELETONS (talk) 04:14, August 30, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:16, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story Your story was deleted because it subscribes to an inordinate amount of OC cliches. Please read this guide for a full overview. I'll go over the main tropes. A young killer who manages to incapacitate an adult with no issues. Protagonist is bullied pointlessly and has cartoonishly evil parents. Protagonist has catch-phrase. The protagonist's attire is described when it has little to no bearing on the story. Etc. Wording issues: "This time when she got home she was grabbed by her mother and locked in the shed for the next 3 dayshe last thing her Mother", "had never moved. climbed down and breathed in a large breath.", "Casey sliced through her mother's neck, cutting to the throat a jugular vein.", "unconscience", etc. Capitalization issues: you randomly capitalize a number of nouns (not proper nouns): "Sadness, anger, Pain." You switch between capitalizing mother. (You have to be uniform if you plan to use it as a title.), "...two words(punctuation missing) "Nighty, Night (night)."", "telling you(punctuation missing again) (")Nighty Night (night).(")" Story issues: besides the ones listed above. Here are some other ones: " Casey turned around with that insane smile on her face and a bloody kitchen knife in her hand." (How is the knife bloody? It hasn't been used to do anything yet. Why is the protagonist suddenly snapping now? It seems like she's been abused for years before this. Why now, there's no trigger, it just happens. I'm sorry, but this story really feels more like a means of introducing your OC (also your username) than an attempt to tell an involving creepy pasta. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:42, August 30, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:19, September 10, 2015 (UTC) :I would strongly suggest looking over my explanation above as a majority of those issues are present in both of your stories. Especially this guide featuring cliche Auber-bullies, extreme focus on the character's clothing, quip-y one liners, etc. Capitalization errors: "A Bitch", "What the Fuck", "If You still think you’re still pretty you are dead wrong,", etc.) Wording issues: "Anyway, I became a target for insults because I was smarter than majority(sic) of them.", punctuation issues (commas misused/lacking from pauses in sentence flow), and story problems. :This comes off like another OC/CPC revenge fantasy that follows a relatively standard plot: bullied teen, adept at fighting (for some reason), awkward intimidation dialogue (“Meet the real me, a demon.”, "“To you I’m known as the ugly new girl,” I said pulling off my mask, “But I prefer to be a demon that gets to kill you.”", etc.) I'm sorry, but a large portion of OC stories have found themselves being deleted in the past for following the same tropes and cliches. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:01, September 10, 2015 (UTC)